Shiny New Confessions: Once in a blue June

It’s been quite some time since I’ve last opened my laptop to write something less formulaic and more meaningful. Through the backlog of restaurant reviews and travel tips sitting in my drafts folder, I tend to gravitate to this particular one in hopes of finally pressing the “Publish” button… only to keep uhm-ing and ahh-ing about it.

June’s been rather erratic with its ups and downs and I’ve been quite affected with things going on in the world. I’ve certainly been very exhausted - not in a “BOOHOO WOE IS ME” way, but more of a quiet state of confusion. From Kate Spade’s and Anthony Bourdain’s deaths to my family going on a “milestone” trip sans me; from feeling absolutely fulfilled at work to making school girl errors; from seeing good old friends and saying goodbye to toxic ones… it’s been rather full on.

PASSION FOR CARE

I recently made a classic school girl error at work which made me want to bash my head on a wall ten times. In all humility… I know I’m a darn good marketer. I’m normally very cautious with what I do, so little avoidable stupid booboos irk me big time.

Before moving jobs, someone told me “I think you’re making a big mistake.” Seven months into my new role, I really want to find that person to tell him the only mistake in that situation was me not leaving sooner. Where I work now has given me my passion for real marketing back and I am humbled by the type of learning I get every day.

It’s very inspiring.

Also, as a marketer, it’s always awesome to see your ideas and the efforts of your labor come to fruition. I’ve never felt so fulfilled and so proud to work on the portfolio I have now. Seeing our clients and customers satisfied and engaged with the brand is very motivating.

It’s also refreshing to be working with an intelligent team who respects you and your abilities and allows you to grow.It’s really made me become more caring about the standard of work that I do. Most of the time, I’m left to crack on with the job but there are also awesome brains to pick for sound advice.

And you can count on them to go down the pub, too.

FRIENDLY SOUVENIRS

When you leave a job, you also leave people. I’ve moved companies twice in London, but I’m glad to have kept meaningful relationships with a handful of like-minded folks.

My first ever work friend came back to London for a visit. I love friends like S - I don’t need to catch up with her often to know how genuine our friendship is. It’s the type that stands the test of time and goes the distance.

I see T & Z a lot often and this month, they’ve been such gems. We’ve bonded through tricky situations and some professional triumphs, and I can honestly say they’ve become two of my closest friends in the big smoke.

And whilst we’re talking about friendships, I’ve become quite reflective with mine.

You see whilst some friendships pan out beautifully with minimal effort (cos let’s face it, you HAVE TO put efforts in your personal relationships), there are some that take a bit more to maintain. I’ve been fortunate enough to know/meet a lot of people through the years (some having had more gravitas than others). But whilst old me cared too much to be everyone’s #BFF, the new me is comfortable enough in her own skin to only really need a handful of close ones. And those whom I value definitely value me too.

“You make effort with me and I’ll make effort with you.”

NUMBERS: #IDGAF

As a part-time blogger/social media enthusiast, I used to care so much about numbers and metrics. But since Instagram’s new algorithm came with the collective frustration of posts not getting enough impressions nor likes, I’ve realised that I actually don’t give a shit.

I mean frankly, it was never my intention to be a big blogger or to be a mega influencer (I <3 the day job too much). Admittedly, I used to wonder how someone’s mediocre photo of an empty plate with crumbs would fare better than my bokeh’d superstylish au naturelle photo of Earth’s wonders.

Whilst I still love writing and whilst still love social media, I’ve learned to love it differently.

The old me would hurry back home from work to write another review and map out blog posts. These days, I spend time more time offline having connections with tangible people. And I’m enjoying it. There’s no need to post three times a day on IG, or write six blog entries a month, or have over 1,000 friends on Facebook. Without that pressure, I’ve learnt to appreciate the transferrable skills you get from social media that I now utilise at work. And I enjoy it a bit more to quench creative thirst.

June has been emotionally, mentally, physically exhausting and confusing. However, as the first half of the year ends, I realise that the highs will always trump the lows as long as you choose them to.

And in the grand scheme of things, I’m grateful. Perhaps my late grandmother’s currently pulling strings in heaven to watch out for me - I’m in a very comfortable stage in life where I don’t need to prove myself to anyone.

I am valued and I am loved. So are you.

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